sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
