I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
