it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
