I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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