i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
