My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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