Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
