can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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