what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
