Everything about him screamed your future.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
