We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
