isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
