love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
