its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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