i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
