suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Rumble strips road head = magical
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
