Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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