So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
