FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
