Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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