I think my vagina is haunted
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
