Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
