he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
