Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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