JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When are your genitals available?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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