I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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