I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
