i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
