i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
