I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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