I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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