Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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