We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
