so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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