I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
