Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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