The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
