I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
