You made me cry and you don't even care
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
