whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
