just come out here and I will go home with you...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
