So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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