Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize