Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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