Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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