Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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