So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never underestimate the power of titties
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
