Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
