left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
