This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
