Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
