I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
