Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
