I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
