oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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