i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
